Me? A Rebel Without A Cause... I did -- nothing of this kind. I have a very open and free thinking mother-- yes she's alive still and I would give her an immortality potion if I could -- did she give me too free a hand? Because when I told her I wanted to study the Liberal Arts at St. Xavier's College Mumbai, she asked me to go right ahead, which I did. This, in spite of having got the marks for a science admission where the aim would have been a medical qualification. In all fairness, Mum did ask me if I wanted to go that route but I refused.
The moment I took up the Arts at college, and particularly St. Xavier's College, the bud that was my mind began to bloom. It slowly opened -- and at the end of five years it was a blossoming flower as ready as that age would ever make it to spread pollen from its fertile self. However-- the parents came down hard on me. You cannot do Psychology or Sociology for a living, they concurred. There is no scope there and what will you do for a living? We want you to be financially independent. Be a lawyer. I was tempted by dreams of making it big, and did as they advised. I was admitted into Law College. This line from some poem I had read earlier in life would keep coming back to me...."What a fall there was my Countrymen...." when I sat to compare the two institutions of learning. By the time I finished my three year sojourn there, and yes, I grit my teeth and finished the course, I was a broken spirit hating what I had had to study -- it failed to grip -- and swearing never to be a practising lawyer. I took a corporate job, young, unexposed, wide-eyed, raw, with a boss straight out of Hell. I left in a year. this was followed by a couple of similar jobs and by and by got married to the most wonderful man this side of the sunrise. I left off working outside the house deciding it was time to become a Mum! I have been a Mum ever since! Also a supportive wife while the hubbs played hunter-gatherer, building up the nest-egg working crazy hours. At times I would feel like a single parent. Once hubby darlin' was abroad on a road show I was alone at home with the kids, while the older one at dead of night puked from his upper bunker into his school shoes below, and kept right on puking every few minutes! I had to call a neighbour for help that night! Whew! What I have been through in the early years!
So the years have rolled past and I have seen one kid through his school leaving exams and into college, the process will start again in three years and it's a fearful ordeal. I see now, that I have been a pillar for the family, a wall to be battered, a pillow to be punched and I have been all of that. There has been immense joy but also angst! Today I realize my worth.
What happened to my success story?? Did i ever have one?? While others were facing burn-out, I faced rust-out. For years I have been called a housewife, and when it became more politically correct, a homemaker. The term "domestic engineer" was bandied around for a bit, but it did not catch on. I have pondered the question, asked it to myself a zillion times, what about ME? I have a wonderful brain, lively, capable of thought both deep and wide -- but I hate business-- yet -- I had a lot to say! So I started writing, first in a note book, it was okay. Then the idea slowly began to emerge that i wanted to broadcast my thoughts. So I started my personal blog. The readership grew and I wanted more! Soon, a published ebook became a reality. I plan to write more.
Yet, the final epiphany came in the words of my husband who told me a few days ago-- Your success will be reflected in the kids' achievements! He also said that he would not have been as successful had he not the support from the home front.
Success comes in many forms doesn't it? People, I am convinced I am successful. I have wonderful kids! They yet have to make a mark in their careers (or maybe not) but they are fine human beings, kind, gentle, loving, compassionate, honest!
I'm so proud of them, I'm so proud of my sensitive husband..... Hell! I'm proud of ME!!!